Home > Humor > Winter Garage Sale – Everything Digital Must Go!

Winter Garage Sale – Everything Digital Must Go!

February 28, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

It’s been a while since I’ve delved into any Arminian/Calvinist stuff.  Perhaps a break was needed.  Sometimes, however, other things can come to the forefront of one’s life when, as happened yesterday, I had a one-on-one session to learn GarageBand.  I took lots of notes and seemed to understand what to do to fire this program up and start recording only to get home and NOT BE ABLE TO GET IT TO WORK.  This is so frustrating and so typical of my experiences in the digital world.  Perhaps others can relate:

It was bound to happen.  Some folks seem to have a knack for all things digital.  I’m not one of them.  What seems to be exceedingly easy for some people has become a trial and tribulation of biblical proportion for me.  My doctor is not willing to up my medication and I’ve used up the 20 annual psychological counseling sessions per year our medical plan allows (and it’s not even March yet!!).  Therefore, in the interest of sanity and self-preservation, I am offering my fellow bloggers and readers the first crack at:

Digital Equipment Winter Garage Sale

Middle aged male tired of constantly losing to the ‘digital aspects’ of everyday life and being considered dumber than a 5th grader.  As of today (except for the help required to get this memo posted) I’ll be writing with paper and pencil, listening only to AM/FM radio in the car, doing home musical recordings on a cassette tape, talking with others through a landline phone, checking out books from a library, subscribing to a daily newspaper, submitting the 1040 long form via the US Post Office and using a camera that accepts Kodachrome film.

For Sale:

  • Computer preloaded with software – new $1.00 (Half a CD wedged inside.)
  • USB interface – new $0.50 (Squished front panel knob.)
  • 40” flat screen TV – new $5.00 (Orange juice stain on front.)
  • Digital Camera – new $0.10 (Slight thumb depression on side.)
  • DSL router & home wireless system – new $0.25 (Inadvertently hit by pen that cracked the front panel.  All lights still working.)
  • GPS unit – new $0.05 (Regret not buying protection plan against being dropped.)
  • Digital Thermometer – used once $0.01 (Best not used orally.)
  • XM/Sirius Radio – slightly used.  Take over payments.  (Display brighter than an LED flashlight.  Black sock included for nighttime driving.)
  • Guitar effects processor – good condition ($0.75) (May have been inadvertently bounced off wall while unplugging.)
  • DVD player & 5.1 surround system – still in original box $3.00 (Orange juice may have leaked into box.)

Free:

  • Cell phone/MP3 player/camera – new (It’s somewhere along Wilderness Run Road in Eagan, MN.  I’m sure the snow bank it hit cushioned the impact.)

No reasonable offers refused

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  1. March 1, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    You could get rid of that pesky automobile as well. I’m guessing on a few of those balmy minus-30 Minnesota winter mornings, your Corvette hasn’t started, either. A horse, on the other hand, starts right up with a good poke. Most of the time.

  2. March 1, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    Thus, I will bid $9.95 for the ‘Vette.

  3. Bob
    March 1, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    My bachelor car was a ’71 Mustang convertible in which I did install an aftermarket ‘digital’ AM/FM cassette player – well, there was an LED readout and a fancy display. Good thing that car is long gone. A horse? Hmmm. Nothing digital about a horse that I can think of. You might be on to something.

    BTW Jeff, I haven’t forgotten about our previous discussions. Lots going on and it’s just been hard to focus and put the time in. I’ll ping you when something goes up.

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