It’s long past time for an update to this web site. Blog posting for more than 15yrs with over 200 posts on a myriad of topics related to Christian faith has made this site a bit wieldy, cumbersome and difficult to navigate. To which, I’m looking to incorporate menus and a more systematic approach in searching out other posts I’ve written. And, as you’re starting to see, I’m now writing on topics other than Christianity. If you’d be so kind, please use the contact page to provide feedback in making this site more user friendly and/or point me to sites that you like.
I’d enlisted in the Coast Guard and was now deeply entrenched into this little excursion called boot camp. I was so lost and confused during those first days. And exhausted. How had I come to make the biggest mistake of my young life? I felt clueless and couldn’t comprehend what was going on. Always running from point-A to point-B. Countless pushups. Constantly getting yelled at. Experiencing the wrath of the BM1 Beecham, the Echo/98 Company Commander, whose face often seemed positioned just in front of me. I didn’t dare look the CC directly in the eyes as he loudly berated me, told what a maggot I was, how I was not worth the pay rate of a seaman recruit. I wondered whether I had potential to call myself a Coast Guardsman?
Shortly after being merged from forming company into the Echo/98 company, and just after lights-out following another long, overwhelming and stressful day, this beautiful sounding tenor voice started singing, “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to stay, Oh I believe, in yesterday. Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be, there’s a shadow hanging over me. Oh, I believe in yesterday.” After finishing that Beatles tune, one could have heard a pin drop in the barracks. There was no rustling about, no tossing or turning. Everyone was perfectly still in their racks. I didn’t understand it, but for the first time in a week I sensed some semblance of normalcy. I had tears in my eyes as this acapella tenor voice filled the room. Each night thereafter there would be another song just after lights-out. I’m sure the CC knew what was going on. Yet he allowed each night’s singing for reasons I’ll never understand.
Nevertheless, I’ve sometimes heard people talk about the power of music. During those nine weeks, I certainly experienced it. And it was wonderful. Many thanks, Seaman Recruit Renny Dozier, for helping me get through a tough time.
Growing up in Tucson, AZ, it only made sense that I would enlist in the Coast Guard as a naive 19 year old in 1974. I took a battery of tests and qualified for most of the MOS (main occupational specialist) jobs. A small detail, however, was learning through the medical exams that I have a significant color perception deficiency. I can see primary colors well enough. And I never realized this all through high school. As is, I struggle to differentiate similar colors next to each other or see colors at all in low light. As such, that color deficiency precluded me from being considered for fields such as electronics or navigation. So, for the most part, that left administration type jobs. And so I was offered a guaranteed Radioman School after completing basic training. In all, those 4yrs were spent in completing bootcamp and Radioman A-School before being stationed for varying lengths of time at a radio station on Guam, Cape Cod Air Station and the Coast Guard Cutters Basswood (Guam), Duane (Portland ME) and Sherman (Boston MA). I am proud of my service as a radioman – or more accurately, a “dit-jockey” (aka a Morse code operator). I eventually attained the rank of petty officer 2nd class (E5). This page is intended to detail some of those experiences which have been carried forth through all these years and have helped shape me into the man I am today. Semper Paratus!
I recently spoke with someone espousing an Open Theistic perspective. I’m likely more inclined to accept Open Theism. But that’s a different discussion. As we spoke, I indicated how my “faith-disconnects” and subsequent deconstruction from Christian faith are in part due to so many different conclusions being derived from the same source material – aka the Bible. I asked, ‘How can learned and well-meaning people reading the same source material (the Bible) not coalesce around a common faith and set of beliefs?’
I generally agree with Mike that it simply makes more sense to be theistic than atheistic. Something that I’d appreciate seeing Mike discuss are the significant variances within Christian faith. Divine Providence, for instance, would be a good start. The book, Divine Providence – Four Views, lists four separate authors, each of whom has their own unique perspective such as:
I recently picked up this book on the ‘for sale’ table in our local library. Apparently this book, for whatever reason, is being taken out of circulation. Yet, the title caught my attention. I flipped to the opening pages and found the following quotes on pg 2:
When it comes to God, we are all over the place.
God appears to be more and more a reflection of whoever it is that happens to be talking bout God at the moment.
We have a problem with God.
[There’s] the increasing likelihood that two people discussing God are in fact talking about two extraordinarily different realities while using the exact same word.
What difference does it make whether one is an ardent Calvinist or, like me, has deconstructed and otherwise walked away from Christian faith? Within the last week I have lost two good friends – one to a car accident and the other to respiratory failure. One death was sudden and totally unexpected. The other was the result of a long and slow decline in health over time.
Perhaps there’s more to know. However, after listening to some of Childer’s podcasts and interviews on deconstruction, I’m struck that the elephant in the room has not been brought up. Consider: given a math problem, everyone will come up with the same answer. However, given a Bible verse and/or passage, Christians will come up with a myriad of answers and understandings. Why is this? I submit that Childers and Barnett in their videos have missed a significant reason as to why many deconstruct from Christian faith.
The truth is, I’m troubled by the discordant conclusions from well-meaning people in books, sermons and Bible studies. Everyone reads the same source material – the Bible. I’ve come to realize that my “faith-disconnects” aren’t, per se, with Calvin, Piper, MacArthur, Spurgeon, Sproul et al. Rather, these folks and countless others over thousands of years have wrestled with many questions and dilemmas that I’ve experienced. Many conclude and coalesce around Reformed Theology as being best able to explain and provide a framework to understand the nature and character of God and the world we live in. Others come to different conclusions.
I have been a long time ‘lurker’ of the FB group, Soteriology 101 in which there is much discussion of “theological issues having to do with soteriology, the doctrine of salvation…specifically as it relates to Calvinism, Arminianism, Traditionalism or more specifically: Election, Predestination, Reprobation, Depravity, Atonement, Calling, Perseverance and the like.”
I’ve posted on this site and periodically have also responded to other’s posts. For the most part, my interactions support of non-Calvinistic perspectives with respect to the Doctrines of Grace. But it has recently dawned on me – there is no clear winner with respect to various posts, arguments and counter-arguments which has, to a degree, made me ask: “What’s the point?” Given the amount of variance that I perceive within Christian doctrines, I don’t know that it’s possible to, in essence, win an argument solely based on one’s understanding of the Bible. To which, I posted the below:
I can’t be the only one feeling distressed as to matters of Christian faith. Perhaps it’s only natural within such a forum as this that posts and presented arguments appear little more than a pro-wrestling cage-match. Each side has its requisite verses flung out in support of either Calvinistic or non-Calvinistic doctrines and beliefs. The arguments never cease and often get more pointed as time goes on and things escalate. Each side has ample ammunition (Bible verses) to lob into the other’s perspectives in justifying one’s beliefs. And there’s no obvious ‘winner’. Ultimately, I have to ask, where is the truth? Does the truth even matter? That something so essential as eschatology brings forth such angst within ‘believers’ (all of whom are reading from the same source material), how then are there not similar divisions on other tenants of Christian faith? Is it not reasonable, then, that Christian faith ultimately breaks down to one’s opinion if only because the truth(s) can’t be known – or at least aspects of those truths agreed upon? And given that Christians, even those with advanced degrees in theology and knowledgeable in the languages, culture and history of the Bible can’t agree upon significant doctrines, is it not then reasonable to infer that the Bible is insufficient on its in leading one to the truth? In short, after 40+ years of being a Christian, I’m finding find it difficult to believe that which I once held near and dear. And sadly, I’m sensing that forums such as this, along with other things, of course, are making it easier for me to relinquish that faith.
Martin's Mercurial Musings 