I was recently corresponding with a good friend as to the deconstruction of my Christian faith. As is, this friend remains strong in his Christian faith. Using logic likely derived from a college philosophy class, he posited that when it comes to disagreements among Christians, one likely holds to one of the following positions:
1. No one knows which perspective on Christianity is correct.
2. Someone knows which perspective on Christianity is correct.
3. There is no way to know which perspective on Christianity is correct.
4. I don’t know which perspective on Christianity is correct.
5. I do know which perspective on Christianity is correct.
Perhaps not surprising, my friend believes that statements 2, 4 & 5 are more tenable from a logical perspective. I, on the other hand, believe that statements 1 & 3 better reflect my present dealings with Christian faith. Our experiences when we were each introduced to Calvinism were quite different. This friend believes that the Doctrines of Grace actually helped him maintain his faith. I, on the other hand, firmly believe those same doctrines (aka TULIP – Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace and Perseverance of the Saints) are fraught with error and are at the root of my own deconstruction.
I’ve tried to incorporate various examples to buttress my position that we really don’t have a way to know the truth of Christianity. For instance, too many seminaries teaching too many differing doctrines in which there are significant doctrinal differences. As I see it, this can lead one to have faith in something that may indeed be predicated on an error. However great or small the error, how can truth be present if the basis for that faith is in some way founded on an error? And given that so many “truths” appear to be diametrically opposed i.e. determinism and free will, well, it’s become difficult to accept Christian faith as truth.
Martin's Mercurial Musings 
Do you know what the best way to find out what is true, and what isn’t? Stop studying “ism’s”, and just read the Bible as a novel…5 times at minimum. A million times at maximum. You begin to see a STORY, insted of HISTORY. And then things begin to make sense. Stay away from DOCTRINES…for the time being, at least. Just read it as a novel 5 times just to get it in your soul. This will take some time, but that’s allowed.
After the 3rd time, then begin to read it as a law book. And the last time, begin to read it SPIRITUALLY. What I mean by that, is…everything you know about Jesus already, see if you can find it in EVERY STORY over told in the whole Hebrew scriptures. Not just the OBVIOUS ones, but the HIDDEN ones. See if you can see Satan, without using the word Satan, or Devil, or Lucifer, or wicked one, or any other OBVIOUS names.
Get a package of college ruled paper, and WRITE DOWN verses…kinda get to the point that you KNOW the verse very well, without even looking it up. The only way that I could do that, was to WRITE IT DOWN.
Look at topics…any topic. WRITE TOPICS DOWN as a title. After you have read the book at least five times, you kinda know where to find things…without the use of biblegateway.com, etc.
If you can’t find it, or don’t remember, begin again with Genesis 1:1 until you find it.
Get hiliters, pens, a Strong’s Concordance (The KJV is the version that goes with that). Look at Hebrew words in their lettering. It’s facinating. Greek, too, but I think we have way too many Greek scholars.
OK, so, now that you have the book IN YOUR SOUL, begin to DEBUNK the easy cults, such as Jehovah’s Witnesses. Learn new terminology, such as what SOUL SLEEP is. Find out if it’s true, or false. From the Bible, not commentaries, not people’s opinion, not from a “We Believe” statement, and not from the GUT. You gotta find it in writing from the Bible.
Move on to the other EASY cult, the 7th Day Adventists. Find out from their world, why they insist on going to church on Saturday, instead of Sunday. I’m sure you know the BASICS of why, but it goes deeper than that. Is Saturday correct, or not correct? What day is correct? Does it matter?
From your five times of reading the Bible, you will have a BETTER understanding as to WHERE the answers can be found.
Wipe all doctrines from Calvinism/Armin…whatever that word is, Catholicsm, AND ESPECIALLY REFORMERS.
When you do, trust me, you will find fault in ALL of them, including SOT 101, where I saw your comment today.
They are right in SOME things, but not all. You will see, tho.
One thing that REFORMERS seem to agree on is “for there is no difference between Jew and Gentile…”. Is that true, in the context that they say?
The word EXEGESIS is most widely MISUSED. You will also learn that EXPOSITORY preaching gets you NOWHERE fast. Spiritual understanding gets you everywhere, but NO ONE wants to hear it. But the Lord knows that you know.
I’ve read some of your stuff here. You can debunk Calvinism very well. If a child can read a Harry Potter book in no time at all, and give a book report…then why are book reports given with just a paragraph of the bible? Ya gotta read it all.
Don’t worry about understanding it for a little while. Just get it in your soul, for now. Understanding comes much later, with the college ruled paper and pens.
Don’t forget the coffee, cuz there will be LATE NIGHTS.
Ed Chapman
This is something I’ve not before considered … or, I guess, had the inclination to do. But as I think about it, I do recall something from one of Philip Yancey’s books – maybe it was Disappointment with God – where he took some sort of sabbatical or other significant time period to do just as you’re suggesting. I appreciate your comment.